9- Photo-realism
Despite the mystical experiences connected to my spiritual journey, I had never researched or entertained any kind of paranormal explorations. Not that I avoided them…they just weren’t on my radar. Despite my own mystical experiences, I was a clinician who primarily believed in addressing the here and now with the here and now. But an antique photo in a tiny shop would expand that understanding, proving that the ‘here and now’ also holds the ‘there and then’.
Each time I put the antique photograph down and walked away to explore other things in the tiny shop, I felt myself unexplainably drawn back to the woman in the portrait. In those days there was something about old things that called me. Along with my sister and girlfriends I often perused dusty old shops and antique malls, and this day was no different. These places resonated with a kind of timelessness that we each found captivating. Our homes were furnished and adorned with treasures from such places. For me it was not so much a shopping adventure as an appreciation for the craftsmanship and beauty that I feel has all but disappeared in our modern, make-shift world of the instant and disposable. But my attraction to this particular photograph had nothing to do with any of that.
For some time I had been collecting antique cabinet card portraits of women for a Women’s Issues class that I was scheduled to teach. I had planned to use such images to connect the students of today to the energy of women in earlier times. However, I never expected to connect so deeply to an image myself. Having more photos than I needed, despite the attraction, I put the photo down and left the store with my sister and girlfriend. Halfway down the sidewalk I was compelled to return to the shop and the photograph. As I picked it up and looked into the depth of the eyes staring back at me, I was completely captivated and clueless as to why. But to free myself from the pull, I marched straight to the counter, purchased the seven dollar obsession and tucked it into my purse. That was that…or so I thought.
All day long I felt the urge to take the photo from my purse and look into her eyes. Time and again I found myself staring into them as if they held some great mystery. I even asked those with me if they got any vibe off the picture and they both denied any kind of draw what-so-ever. My sister further commented that she didn’t even find the woman particularly attractive. This threw me because I found her to be quite captivating. It wasn’t that she was a beauty, but there was an undeniable strength and presence about her that I found compelling.
That evening I sat with the photo and wrote whatever came to mind as I imagined the life of the mysterious woman from the turn of the century. Alone on my sun porch, I fashioned a character study of sorts that was impossible to verify, but verification wasn’t what I was looking for. I simply wanted to understand what was calling me to this image so I wrote whatever filled my thoughts. The things that came spoke to a strength of character and her determination to be heard and unrestricted in an age where women had very little freedom and even less voice. The message was one of self-knowledge with regard to her personality; a quiet type of inner-strength that was unmistakable in her presence. Not foreboding or arrogant in any way, I felt she held a kind of self-awareness that was purposeful and directed, without ego yet very centered.
A few days later I had the image copied and enlarged so I could frame and display it prominently in my home. I knew this was very unusual behavior but I just went with it. I intuitively felt the need to ‘be with her’; to have her share my space. Fortunately I lived with people who didn’t question my quirky ideas or spontaneous notions.
It was the early nineties and we had a nice apartment just outside of Dallas, Texas. I say this to emphasize that there wasn’t anything in our area of the bible belt that openly addressed the paranormal. Quite honestly, despite the mystical experiences connected to my spiritual journey, I had never researched or entertained any kind of paranormal explorations. Not that I avoided them…they just weren’t on my radar. Despite my own mystical experiences, I was a clinician who primarily believed in addressing the here and now with the here and now. But the woman in the photo, unbeknownst to me, had come to show me that the here and now held more than I realized. Being all that existed, the ‘here and now’ holds everything!
A few days after finding the portrait and writing down my thoughts, I randomly turned the TV channel following a local home-school program my son had just finished watching. An interview type talk-show I had never heard of caught my attention. This episode featured a detective who used the services of a psychic to assist in finding missing persons. The detective, a credible sounding, middle-aged man, introduced the psychic and sang her praises with regard to her assistance in his cases. Curious, I watched the interview through to the end. When an invitation to call the number on the screen reached out to anyone with a story they would like to share about the paranormal, I found myself jotting the number down.
Not only did I know nothing about the paranormal world at this time in my life, I had certainly never entertained the idea of calling a television show, much less a psychic! But there I was, only minutes after the show aired, dialing the number. Hoping to get information for contacting the psychic, my mind was questioning my actions even as I watched them unfold. I had no idea why I was calling to connect with a woman on a TV show in California simply because I was obsessed with a photograph I’d found in an antique shop in Texas, but there I was. Imagine my surprise at being told that the psychic actually lived only three hours from my home! For Texans, that’s a day trip! Without missing a beat, I called, she answered, and the synchronistic breadcrumbs continued to fall into perfect alignment. As it turned out she was in my area twice a month seeing clients. Needless to say, I scheduled an appointment.
On the phone I was careful not to give anything away. I told her that I had seen her on the TV show, and being a counselor, I wondered if she had ever assisted in that field in some way. She said she had and we agreed to discuss the possibilities when she was in town. Two weeks later I waited outside the office she used when she was in town. The photo tucked inside my purse, I thought about how I was going to approach the subject. When it was my turn to see her I found the woman to be just as she was on TV. Warm, friendly and very approachable. After introductions and pleasantries the two of us went into the room she used as an office. We sat across from one another at an empty table, but for a small cassette recorder next to her. I reached into my purse, took the photograph out and said “I was wondering…”. Before I could finish my sentence the woman reached to take the photograph from my hand, and upon touching it she gasped slightly, drew it to her and hit the record button and said, “This was you in a past life.” I sat speechless and suspicious until she began independently stating much of what I had written after finding the photo….and then some. I’d probably taken it all with a grain of salt had her reading not been so close to the things that I had intuitively written. However, I had never even remotely considered a past life connection. In those days I didn’t even think in such terms. Since then however, I have had three other very gifted psychics confirm the connection and I have no doubt they were honestly telling me what they saw.
While it is fun to imagine that I actually connected with a photograph from one of my own past (parallel) lives, that has never been what most astounded me. Connecting with that photograph in such a profound way marked a trajectory that opened me up to a much larger picture of life. After that experience and hearing about the possible connection, my studies turned to exploring life as an ongoing continuum rather than a single appearance. Weather she is indeed one of my own past/parallel lives, I don’t know. However, those who knew me during that time can certainly attest to how strongly her energy influenced my life, and the doors that opened up for me following our uncommon introduction. I eventually began to explore past life regression. I assisted a friend in unraveling and validating her young son’s comments about the lives they shared prior to this one. And my world view expanded far beyond the limits of my five senses.
I came to understand that we simultaneously project our eternal essence into many incarnations at once in various dimensions. These fluctuate along bands of frequency and actually influence one another across what we experience as time and space. I’ve learned that shifts in awareness which I experience in this life literally impact other lives that the larger self is projecting which I’m not even consciously aware of and vice-versa. I have also been shown that our life is not one of continuity. We are not limited to a chronological continuum of experience, but do indeed seamlessly pop in and out of experiences according to our perception and focus. I have felt sudden shifts and become aware of literally shifting from one timeline to another without needing to experience the gradual steps I could have used to get there. This awareness continues to expand in me as does my understanding of it. It is these kind of lessons I enjoy exploring and dissecting. The world I experience today is far from what meets the eye and this has made life quite an adventure. One that was prompted by a photograph experienced along two timelines which crossed in the eternal now.
The enlarged framed photograph is still in my home and long ago I painted a portrait of the two of us. Together we are more than I was alone and I feel a kinship to the energy that reached out to me in such a profound way. Understanding that we all exist beyond the limitations of time and space is what matters most. When we live from that awareness we open ourselves to infinite possibilities in the seemingly here and now. The captivating woman in the photograph ushered that awareness in for me. I am both grateful I followed the intuitive nudges that led me to her and forever changed because of it.
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