We are all more than we believe ourselves to be. It is this inner essence that cries out for unconditional love. Giving this to ourselves and others is the journey we have embarked upon in this experience we call life. It is why we are here. If we can come to know this essence within ourselves and embrace it, we will see and embrace it in others. We will know peace and the unwavering power of love. Compassionate non-judgment is the path I have consciously chosen to take me there and I can honestly say the experience I share in this story anchored and expanded my dedication to this choice.
In the last years of my grandma’s life she needed someone to stay with her around the clock. While my aunt was her primary caretaker, occasionally I’d go spend a week or so with my grandma to give my aunt a break. My uncle would drop off groceries from time to time so I could cook for us, but other than that we were pretty much on our own. Grandma’s growing dementia prevented very much conversation. She mostly watched TV soaps she could no longer follow, slept in her chair and drifted from time to time into some distant daydream she was having. This woman, who had been the backbone of our family for almost a hundred years was coming to the last stages of her journey here. She had taught me so much about life through example. Compassion, dedication, unconditional love and acceptance were as natural to her as breathing. She had also taught me to cook, crochet and sew. Every creative bone I have I got from her and I knew that once she was gone from the family, the family would lose it’s center. I also knew that it was largely because of her, that I had found mine.
I had a lot of free time to read on these visits so I always brought some esoteric material I was studying. I would often read late into the night and throughout most of the day as I sat with my grandma. This focused my mind and informed much of the things I pondered about life and the meaning it held. Watching the woman I admired so much near the end of her days, magnified my introspective inquiries. Being one who has experienced time and again that we do indeed find answers to the questions we seek, I sought to further understand the soul’s journey.
On one particular visit I had been reading from The Book Of Enoch and pondering the mystical type of experiences the text is centered on. This is not reading for light weights, and as any serious spiritual student will tell you, old Enoch had himself quite an adventurous time! Enoch’s travels to heaven in the form of dreams, visions and revelatory experiences were very profound. I didn’t study esoteric material just for the content shared or the lesson’s taught. I believed I could have the same revelatory experiences these teachers shared in their writings. Having been proven right in my assumptions time and again, I always sought first hand communications with my own higher mind. However I wasn’t at all prepared for the revelatory experience I awaiting me on this visit.
My grandma perked up whenever my uncle visited. I never really had a relationship with him even though his wife, my mom’s sister, was my favorite aunt. The truth is he was never around much in my childhood. He worked shift work and most holidays, so while I was with my aunt a lot, this was not the case with her husband. As an adult I didn't see very much of either of them due to geography. He was a fastidious man, starched and pressed. He had very strong opinions and the way we viewed the world was very different. He was a conservative, a republican, and very outspoken on his opinions. I was so far away from anything political there was not even a category for my views. He freely spoke his mind and sometimes displayed a prejudice I just couldn't warm up to, but I had grown up being taught to respect my elders so, for the most part, I didn’t engage his comments. Besides, he loved my aunt and was good to my grandma and I figured that was all that mattered. I had no way of knowing this man was about to be the conduit through which one of the most profound spiritual lessons of my life would flow.
It was the week of Easter, and not being religious, I hadn’t celebrated any of the holidays in more years than I could count. But because my uncle didn’t know this, when he went grocery shopping for us and saw the orchid corsages being sold for Easter, he kindly bought one for both grandma and me. As grandma opened the kitchen door to let him in, his tall frame filled the small room. I sat at the kitchen table as he reached in the grocery sack he carried and presented my grandmother with a corsage. I remember thinking what a sweet gesture it was, when he surprised me with one as well. As he extended it and our hands connected on the small package, I was literally catapulted into a profound mystical experience.
Time stood still as I experienced my uncles spirit expand from his being and fill the room. His divine essence merged with mine and communicated the pure energy of unconditional love. I was suddenly caught up in the most profound realization that this is the substance around which we are all formed. In a moment that I am quite sure only I experienced, I was transported into revelatory awareness and clarity. I felt as though I had been given a glimpse through the veils Enoch had pierced, and never again would I mistake the personality for the essence of a person.
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