2- Laura and Laurie

2- Laura and Laurie

Long before I was consciously aware the multi-dimensional nature of reality or how it was operating in my life, I encountered it, as had my mother some twenty or so years before me.  Due to the fact that we are conditioned away from seeing metaphysical experiences as a normal part of everyday life, we unknowingly limit them.  But, as has been proven to me, when this aspect needs to really get our attention, it does!  I have experienced a non-physical aspect of myself that has a much better vantage point than my limited physical counterpart  If we just understood the fullness of our being, I believe we could be guided in every moment by this aspect of ourselves.  Then, instead of bowing to some seemingly separated external deity granting miracles, we could each tap into the truly miraculous nature of  who we truly are and utilize our infinite potential.  Perhaps we are moving toward experientially realizing this way of life.

When I was four years old and my sister, Laura, was two, I remember a panic that ran through my family.  Laura was missing.  Imagine my parent’s frenzy as they frantically searched for her.  It was 1960 and we lived in a small mainland town in Galveston County, Texas.  My parents had built a home on some property given to them as a wedding present from my grandparents.  Apart from one next-door neighbor and another at the end of our little road we were surrounded by vacant lots.  Our little family of four had been outside when my parents suddenly realized they didn’t see my sister.  Our property wasn’t fenced and when a frantic search didn’t produce her they feared someone may have driven by and taken her.  They called the police and worriedly  continued to search.  To this day my mom vividly recalls standing by the detached garage behind my dad as he spoke with the officers.  She reports that, without warning an “invisible something”  literally took her by the hand and pulled her across the backyard to an old quilt lying in the grass.  She said she was physically pulled down by this guiding presence to explore the quilt, which to her looked as though it had simply been tossed in the yard.  Having kicked at it earlier in her search she was amazed to discover that deep within the quilt my sister had rolled herself tightly into a ball.  Playfully hiding, she had fallen asleep.  

I recall my parents relief as my dad later sat with my sister on his lap, all of us gathered around her.  As he talked to her about never hiding from them like that again I can still hear her say, “Next time I will leave my feet sticking out.”  Everyone laughed at her seemingly reasonable two year old response, as my dad shot down that idea in a heart beat.

To this day my mom recalls that moment as clearly as the day it happened.  She told me that was the day that she truly knew there was more to this world than meets the eye.  My mom had been raised with religious teachings, but until her own revelatory experience, none of it was tangible for her.  As my friend Theresa always says, information is not revelation. Personal revelatory experiences awaken us deeply to the true nature of reality.  My mom has gone on to have many more mystical experiences.  None more profound than those after my father’s passing. But for now let me tell you how my own daughter, my sister’s namesake, was also saved by a guiding presence.

Laurie was my first child and when she was just an infant I had taken her with me to help a friend pack up her house for a move out of state.  She had a daughter a couple of months older than Laurie and motherhood had bonded us. I tucked my baby girl into the crib my friends daughter used, and went about packing.  Later, as I was working in the bathroom I got an image of my daughter in the crib with a blanket tightly wrapped around her head from the neck up.  At twenty-one I simply considered this a foolish thing to imagine and almost brushed it aside.  Fortunately however, I decided to peek in on my daughter anyway.  As I looked in from the bedroom door I couldn’t see over the bumper guards around the crib so I walked over.  There she was, just as I had envisioned her; on her back, the blanket tightly surrounding her little head.  I scooped her up, removed the blanket and she gasped for air.  Her hair was soaking wet and her face bright red.  Acting on the vision I had received had saved her life.

To this day I don't know how she managed to tangle herself up in that blanket but I have never left a blanket in a crib since!  Also, I have never discounted any vision or premonition since.  And, like my mother, I have never forgotten the intervention that aided me in rescuing my daughter.  My mother was pulled as an invisible presence literally took hold of her hand.  I was more subtly guided by a vision in my mind that I almost regarded as an over active imagination.  However guidance comes to us, following it can be life saving.

Intuitive awareness is so interwoven into our daily experience that it goes without recognition most of the time.  Unless catalyzing events, like those I have shared here happen, most people are not even aware of how much access they have to these abilities.  Identifying them in the ordinariness of everyday living taught me how to cultivate and build upon them without being enamored with them. or considering them “miracles”.  Tuning into my own higher-self aspect is all the guidance I needed to experience this for myself. My limitless nature was only obscured until I came into the realization of it.  Coming into that realization as a society begins with sharing stories like these and starting to pay attention to the multi-dimensional nature of the world around us.  It is everywhere and it is awakening in us as we exchange such stories.  It is for that reason alone that I write about my experiences.  Not so anyone will follow in my footsteps, but so we will all move deeper into our own inward path, awaken to our intuitive nature and embrace the individual and highly personal guidance that extends from beyond the realms of matter, energy, space and time.  There is indeed more to this world than meets the eye….and we are that more!

3- Wake-Up Call

3- Wake-up Call

When we combine soul-searching and the desire to understand the meaning of life with creativity, we open a type of portal between our physical and non-physical self. Without realizing it, as this story demonstrates, I had done just that.  Though it would take another profound creative experience some years later to anchor this as an ongoing practice, I’d like to share the first of these ‘wake-up calls’ as I have come to see them.  I was in my late twenties, the single mother of two, and my life was once again coming undone! Thank goodness!

The first half of my life was a train wreck.  It was not until my late twenties that I began to truly find direction and purpose.  And even then, there was so much residual dysfunction overlapping my newfound revelations that it took a few years for my outer circumstances to begin to align with the internal changes I was experiencing.  As a single mom of two young children, I lived in a house that a relative was remodeling.  Because of the ongoing construction, I paid a reduced rent for a large home on the outskirts of town.  While it wasn’t perfect, it was affordable….and in the countryside, which I loved!  Construction on the house took place while I was at work and the kids were at school or daycare.  Evenings and weekends it was quiet and peaceful. 

The house was a very old, very large two-story which was built in the early 1900’s.  It had fourteen foot high ceilings, large handmade glass windows, shiplap walls and hardwood floors.  But before you get a beautiful HGTV vision in your mind, let me point out that the place had never been updated or remodeled! It was solid and strong but it was not a testimony to modern renovation.  The living room was divided by two massive pocket doors and this allowed me to use one side as a bedroom for myself while the kids slept on the second story.  My ‘bedroom’ was huge and the high ceilings and large windows gave it an added feeling of expansion.  I often left the pocket doors open at night in case the kids needed something, because it was easier to hear them call from upstairs.  I had a dresser and a full size antique iron bed in the corner and not much else in the space.  It was in this room, in this bed, that a wake-up call unlike anything I had ever experienced got my attention.

During this period of my life I was doing a lot of soul searching; exploring religion and questioning the meaning of life.  The phrase “Lead me into all truth.” was a constant as I sought to know and understand a God that religion had yet to adequately reveal and philosophy failed to interpret for me.  Therefore, introspection and spiritual contemplation were the norm for me.  This pre-occupation spilled over into the kind of things I chose to read or study, and made up many of the conversations I had with others.  Having always been an artist and a writer, each night after the kids were in bed I would sit up and paint or write until I got tired.  Creativity had always been a large part of my life.  It was a constant and fulfilling aspect of my being and I truly indulged myself.  At this time in my life I was completely unaware of the powerful portal we open when we combine creative contemplation and soul searching.  It is profound to say the least!

Each night after putting away my notebook or paint brushes I’d crawl beneath the comfy covers and snuggle in.  I loved this old house and I loved living in the country.  One night as I was drifting off to sleep I heard my name called out from a distance, ever so faintly, but clear as a bell.  I opened my eyes and lay perfectly still as I waited, listening.  When I heard nothing more I wrote it off as being tired and simply ‘hearing things’.  When this happened again the next night, I was a little more perplexed because I knew I wasn’t imagining anything, nor was I dreaming.  For the next couple of weeks, as I lay down each night, I intentionally stayed mentally alert.  Night after night, in the dark stillness, just before drifting off, one brief utterance of my first name, seemingly called out from a short distance, filled the room where I lay.   Slightly louder than the first night, it left me more and more anxious until I couldn't take it any longer.  One night in response, I sat up and yelled as loud as I could into the empty room, “What?”

As the echo of my frustration faded, the room grew silent.  I never heard the voice call my name again, but I didn't need to.  It had gotten my attention and anchored my curious journey even deeper into the mystery of life.  I made many positive changes during this time and have always considered this experience a pivotal point...a wake-up call of sorts.  Yet this was not to be my last clairaudient experience.   As I share in the story Stillness Speaks, the next one would so profoundly awaken me that religion could not contain it nor could philosophy explain it, though it stemmed from both.  I say this to emphasize that it doesn’t matter where we are on our path.  Religious, atheist or somewhere between the two, if we are seeking truth from deep within ourselves truth will find us.  This is because we are the truth we seek.  Not our personality self, but our divine, limitless, eternal self!  It will quite literally call out to us if that is what it takes to get our attention!  

I learned that the quickest way to connect with this truth is to drop everything I had ever been told about what it is or how to find it.  I learned that there is no ‘one truth’ in a world of duality and perception.  There is however my truth….waiting deep inside of me to reveal itself.  Deeper than I had ever been taught to look!   I learned that this is how it works for each of us, and this is why truth, what most call ‘God’ can’t be contained, experienced or explained communally. Unbeknownst to me at the time, creativity had operated as a sort of meditative space that expanded me; opened me up as a receiver and made me more sensitive to the frequencies which were not typically on my radar.  I wouldn’t fully understand this until years later but once I did, creativity became fundamental to my spiritual journey of realization and awakening.

Eventually I abandoned the paths others had given me to follow and introspectively tuned into my own questioning heart with sincerity and integrity.  I then simply followed the synchronistic breadcrumbs that showed up, unraveling the mess I had made of things from being outwardly directed.  Today I know I came here to explore my own book of life, not read from another’s.  I didn’t come here to do anyone else’s plan for my life.  I didn’t come here to look good, fit in, or win approval.  I came here to come undone!  To free myself from ancestral conditioning and experience myself as an infinite being.  I now understand that I am my own self-help manual.  All I have to do is un-do the things that keep me from reaping the rewards of this great design.  But thankfully I don’t have to do this all at once.  That would be impossible.  I have spent the last thirty years consciously un-doing the previous thirty years of conditioning, so this I can promise..…  it gets easier and easier, until it becomes a joy ride of unimaginable proportions revealing the true, eternal nature of our lives in palpable clarity.  

In the years since this experience I have come to realize that the calling of our name is sometimes a precursor to the nightly out-of-body excursions we all take as our physical body sleeps.  This, or a vibrating sensation, which I have also experienced, is how we sometimes disconnect from our physical ‘container’.  The expanded, multi-dimensional awareness that we truly are is not confined nor is it limited to the dense nature of our physical experiences.  Hearing my name called out in the dark of night was just the metaphysical nudge I needed to begin to explore the fullness of my being beyond the limits of all I’d been told and taught about who..…and what, I am!  

Today I realize that I am an infinite being experiencing a limited framework. This framework expands beyond its limited nature as I follow my intuitive nudges with curiosity and introspective wonder. It is this ever unfolding journey that has my full attention, and informs all that I engage.    My art, my work, and my play is born from and returns to this endeavor.  Not because I am rigidly trying to become more, learn more, experience more, but because I have realized I am more….more than I was led to believe by the conditioned outer directed world.  And it is a great joy to play in the depths of this more-ness that I am!

4- Stillness Speaks

4- Stillness Speaks

Life handed me just enough dead end roads and starting over scenarios to break me open.  Fortunately, through the tiniest crack in my head-strong, sure-fire approach to life, just enough illumination got in to ignite a passion in me for more.  The expansion of consciousness that spiritual insight offered in the way of heightened intuitive awareness is, for me, compelling, to say the least. However, when I speak of spiritual insight, I’m not only referencing palpable revelatory experiences that, in and of themselves, are quite captivating.  The ‘experience’ is not what compels me.  It is the expansion of consciousness that accompanies these mystical experiences and then continues to teach and guide along avenues of new awareness that I  am called toward.  It is the realization of my infinite nature, ever unfolding as I align with it.  Connecting deeply and sincerely to my core with one consistent mantra or prayer was my avenue!  ‘Lead me into all truth’, was the foundational request beneath all I sought to know.  The sincere expression of that request brought about my second clairaudient experience; a mystical experience indeed! 

As a daughter, grand-daughter, niece, cousin, friend and significant other to countless alcoholics in my life, my choice to go into the field of counseling, intervention and education was well foreshadowed.  However, it was my own co-dependent approach to helping those I loved, long before my career choice was made, that landed me in 12 Step circles.  The third step in The Program reads: “Made a decision to turn my will and life over to God as I understand Him.”   While I longed to turn my will and life over to anyone who could do a better job, it was the “God as I understand Him” part that gave me pause.  I vividly recall my immediate innermost response to this step being…’That’s the problem…I don’t understand God… at all!  Meaning, I don’t understand how God could let the things that happen, happen.  If God is all knowing and all powerful why then, do good people suffer?  And how does evil even exist if God is in charge?  I wasn't alone in these perspectives, and such questions turn many away from all manner of spirituality.  But not me.  I didn’t believe there was anything I couldn’t know if I sought diligently enough. 

I was raised and confirmed in the Lutheran religion, so I was taught about God. But even the Pastor couldn’t satisfy my 13 year old questioning mind during catechism class, so I was never that impressed with church, doctrine or conventional spirituality.   As I reflected on this whole “God as I understand Him” reference in the 3rd Step, I figured getting an understanding was as good as any place to start.  

It is funny now to reflect back on my naiveté but, thinking outside of western religion was not even on my radar. I called my Uncle David, who, as a Pentecostal preacher was about as far from traditional religion as I could imagine in those early years.  I kid you not,  I was seriously reaching out to what I believed was the highest spiritual authority I knew.  We didn’t have a personal relationship that extended into adulthood, so reaching out at twenty-eight years old was a stretch for me.  I loved my childhood Uncle Punk, and my relationship with his boys had always been close, but he and I didn’t really know one another anymore. In fact, it was a sincere talk with his second oldest son, Michael, many years before,  that even prompted my call.  Mike and I had stayed up late one night talking about life and faith.  He had said that regardless of how off track his life ever got,  his last breath would be to reach out to Jesus, so I figured he must have gotten something from his church that mine wasn’t offering.  

For the next three years I was front and center at the local Pentecostal church.  Not only was I there with my two young children in tow every time the doors were open, I was also tuned into Christian TV, bible study, and Christian music, which had replaced much of my ‘secular’ choices.  I was on a quest, to say the least!  I frequented Christian book stores.  I bought tons of reference books and spent all my free time studying like a biblical scholar.  Apart from crashing my life on the rocks one too many times, religion on turbo-charge was my starting place.

I felt good during this time and my life truly opened with possibilities never before imagined.  I was lighter and happier and the havoc that had spread itself across my earlier years began to fade even from memory.  I was indeed made new.  Then it happened…. almost three years into this journey I was sitting in church one day listening to a sermon when I realized I didn’t agree with what was being interpreted from scripture.   The pastor was going on and on about something that my heart of hearts was completely at odds with.  This had been happening more and more as I moved deeply into my own spiritual study and understanding.  That’s when my mantra/prayer practice kicked in.  I slightly lowered my head, closed my eyes and began silently asking to be “lead into all Truth”.  So deeply sincere was my desire and so profoundly dedicated to truth was my request that I received an other-worldly response.

From the center of my being, rising upward from within, a powerful voice filled with clarity and direction, loudly spoke the words, “Be Still And Know.”  So jolting was this experience that my head snapped up and my back became ramrod straight against the hard wooden pew.  Eyes wide and stunned, I looked around the sanctuary to see if anyone else had heard the powerful directive.  The preacher was still preaching and the congregation was still nodding and amen-ing along with him as I realized I alone had been given a brief, yet all encompassing, four word sermon.  

Along with the words, this mystical clairaudient experience came with a revelatory expansion of consciousness that imparted much more than the words themselves could convey.  It would be the first of many communication experiences of permeating revelation.  Like an infusion of complete unwavering understanding, I was instantaneously made aware that the nature of Truth waited for me deep within stillness, not in books or religions or anything outside myself.  But what was stillness apart from non-movement?  This was my new quest.  

I embraced stillness as the next pearl of wisdom cast before me in a never ending series of lessons that have marked my spiritual journey.  I didn’t attach my experience to church or religion, or to the man preaching the sermon that morning.  Instead it moved me beyond all those things; indeed beyond all religion or philosophy.  It was very clear that the directive I had received that morning was telling me that in order to understand God, I would have to move beyond all of the structures man had made to define God, and move instead deep into the core of my being.  That was the place that now held “God as I understood Him.”  The God I followed, the aspect I asked with sincerity to “lead me into all truth”, was not in that or any church….it was, quite literally, in me! 

I came to realize that stillness is not the same as non-movement.  Stillness is a palpably alive awareness that has no division within it.  It is an all-knowing oneness that contains whatever it is I seek to know or understand. All that ever blocks it is my belief that I already know something.  Stillness birthed a conversion reaction in me so strong that I dropped everything in search of learning more from it.  It became both my practice and my place of rest.   I find it more and more as I free myself from the limited world of perception through the practice of compassionate non-judgement toward myself and others.  Stillness continues to find me and surprise me as I surrender to it with all that I am.  It is the most profound way to live that I have ever experienced, and within it truly lies the peace that passeth all understanding.  Undoing what I think I know and stepping moment by moment out of the limiting boxes I create for myself is my ongoing journey into the ever-expanding wisdom within stillness.  This is my spirituality!

Creative energy is the vehicle I most use to tap into this stillness! As the desire to create comes naturally to me, I kind of stumbled across it as a path into stillness.  Where many use sitting meditation to tune themselves inward, I use creativity.  I find it is a great tool for both detaching myself from the snags and tangles of distraction, and expressing the revelations I find beyond those limitations.

5- Easter Orchids

5- Easter Orchids
We are all more than we believe ourselves to be.  It is this inner essence that cries out for unconditional love.  Giving this to ourselves and others is the journey we have embarked upon in this experience we call life.  It is why we are here.  If we can come to know this essence within ourselves and embrace it, we will see and embrace it in others.  We will know peace and the unwavering power of love.  Compassionate non-judgment is the path I have consciously chosen to take me there and I can honestly say the experience I share in this story anchored and expanded my dedication to this choice.  

In the last years of my grandma’s life she needed someone to stay with her around the clock.  While my aunt was her primary caretaker, occasionally I’d go spend a week or so with my grandma to give my aunt a break.  My uncle would drop off groceries from time to time so I could cook for us, but other than that we were pretty much on our own.  Grandma’s growing dementia prevented very much conversation.  She mostly watched TV soaps she could no longer follow, slept in her chair and drifted from time to time into some distant daydream she was having.   This woman, who had been the backbone of our family for almost a hundred years was coming to the last stages of her journey here.  She had taught me so much about life through example.  Compassion, dedication, unconditional love and acceptance were as natural to her as breathing.  She had also taught me to cook, crochet and sew.  Every creative bone I have I got from her and I knew that once she was gone from the family, the family would lose it’s center.  I also knew that it was largely because of her, that I had found mine.

I had a lot of free time to read on these visits so I always brought some esoteric material I was studying.  I would often read late into the night and throughout most of the day as I sat with my grandma.  This focused my mind and informed much of the things I pondered about life and the meaning it held.  Watching the woman I admired so much near the end of her days, magnified my introspective inquiries.  Being one who has experienced time and again that we do indeed find answers to the questions we seek, I sought to further understand the soul’s journey.

On one particular visit I had been reading from The Book Of Enoch and pondering the mystical type of experiences the text is centered on.  This is not reading for light weights, and as any serious spiritual student will tell you, old Enoch had himself quite an adventurous time!  Enoch’s  travels to heaven in the form of dreams, visions and revelatory experiences were very profound.  I didn’t study esoteric material just for the content shared or the lesson’s taught.  I believed I could have the same revelatory experiences these teachers shared in their writings.  Having been proven right in my assumptions time and again, I always sought first hand communications with my own higher mind.  However I wasn’t at all prepared for the revelatory experience I awaiting me on this visit.

My grandma perked up whenever my uncle visited.  I never really had a relationship with him even though his wife, my mom’s sister, was my favorite aunt.  The truth is he was never around much in my childhood.  He worked shift work and most holidays, so while I was with my aunt a lot, this was not the case with her husband.  As an adult I didn't see very much of either of them due to geography.  He was a fastidious man, starched and pressed. He had very strong opinions and the way we viewed the world was very different.  He was a conservative, a republican, and very outspoken on his opinions.  I was so far away from anything political there was not even a category for my views.  He freely spoke his mind and sometimes displayed a prejudice I just couldn't warm up to, but I had grown up being taught to respect my elders so, for the most part, I didn’t engage his comments.  Besides, he loved my aunt and was good to my grandma and I figured that was all that mattered.  I had no way of knowing this man was about to be the conduit through which one of the most profound spiritual lessons of my life would flow. 

It was the week of Easter, and not being religious, I hadn’t celebrated any of the holidays in more years than I could count.  But because my uncle didn’t know this, when he went grocery shopping for us and saw the orchid corsages being sold for Easter, he kindly bought one for both grandma and me.  As grandma opened the kitchen door to let him in, his tall frame filled the small room.  I sat at the kitchen table as he reached in the grocery sack he carried and presented my grandmother with a corsage.  I remember thinking what a sweet gesture it was, when he surprised me with one as well.  As he extended it and our hands connected on the small package, I was literally catapulted into a profound mystical experience.  

Time stood still as I experienced my uncles spirit expand from his being and fill the room.  His divine essence merged with mine and communicated the pure energy of unconditional love. I was suddenly caught up in the most profound realization that this is the substance around which we are all formed.  In a moment that I am quite sure only I experienced, I was transported into revelatory awareness and clarity.  I felt as though I had been given a glimpse through the veils Enoch had pierced, and never again would I mistake the personality for the essence of a person.  

6- Surrender's Gift

6- Surrender's Gift

But for a brief and tumultuous second marriage, I had been a single mother for more than a decade.   Acutely aware that my ‘picker’ was broken, I vowed to remain single until I got that thing fixed!  For many years I had been on an intense journey into personal growth.  As an adult child of alcoholism and rampant co-dependency, I had addressed my family of origin, embraced my inner child, healed the woman who loved too much, balanced my inner masculine, and found the goddess within.  I not only had the bookshelf to prove it, I had a counseling certification to boot!  Working toward my license, I was determined to be the kind of counselor that had done my own work!  Not to mention, the kind of woman that would never again be attracted to needy men.  And while I was sure of what I didn't want I had no way of knowing what I would find in complete surrender.

I was in the middle of the living room floor, rocking back and forth, my arms tightly wrapped around me.  The loneliness had gotten to such an excruciating level that I could no longer keep the tears at bay.  I was beyond sadness.  I literally ached with physical and emotional pain.  My two young children tucked into their beds, I knew the only remedy was to embrace the emptiness that wanted release and cry it out.  Several months before, I had moved into a picturesque farmhouse in the middle of a few hundred acres.  A dream come true, I guess living that dream had amplified the loneliness of not having a partner to share it all with.  

Loneliness aside, in many ways my life was the best it had ever been.  In fact, someone special to share it all with seemed to be the only missing piece.  I actually loved being independent and on my own. I was an artist and a writer and valued my alone time when the demands of motherhood, work, and school weren’t tugging at me.  I guess this was just the night that it all came to a head.  So many years of doing everything alone while raising two beautiful children, was finally taking it’s toll.  What few friends I had were married, and I was never one for night life and partying.  For the most part I was happy under my blanket of stars in my eighty year old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.  Falling asleep to the sound of crickets, waking to the birds singing, was my kind of music, and walking through fields of wildflowers was my kind of adventure.  Nothing however, could have prepared me for the adventure the next morning would bring.

Allowing myself to cry the loneliness out the night before had resulted in a peaceful nights sleep. I awoke to my favorite summertime melody of birds as the breeze wafted through the open bedroom windows.  There is nothing like the peacefulness of the country to soothe a weary soul. Warm sunshine and a gorgeous Saturday morning reminded me of all that was good in my life and coaxed me out for a walk through a pasture I had yet to explore.  I got dressed and headed out knowing that  the kids were good on their own and I’d be within shouting distance if needed.

As I waded through the tall pasture grass I reflected on the synchronistic way the farm had come to be our new home, and my gratitude for all that it had brought us.  The property had three fishing ponds on it and because the surrounding pastures were leased to area ranchers separate from the property we occupied, we got to enjoy horses, cattle and sheep without being responsible for their care.  The house itself was one of those great old places with 14 ft. ceilings and massive windows that were designed to allow for great cross breezes throughout every room. When we moved in I had explored the place from top to bottom and found a great antique walnut bed in the attic that I refinished for my son’s room with the landlords permission.  Beautiful vintage pieces found their way into the house as I scoured tiny shops and garage sales, and in no time it felt like home.  Of all the places I have lived, before or since, it has remained my favorite. Long before  'Law of Attraction' teachings were popularized I had intuitively used those principals to step into the life I was living here with my children.  It felt amazing to actually walk within a reality I had spent so much heart-felt emotion imagining.

Walking deeper into the pasture I noticed a small rise in the distance and what looked like old iron fencing that had fallen in a bent and tangled heap.  Curious, I moved toward the area, climbing the gradual incline through the thick grass.  To my surprise I found myself surrounded by what seemed to be a long forgotten family cemetery.  Because I am one of those strange beings that happen to love old cemeteries, I was fascinated by my discovery.  I walked around the fencing and through headstones that ranged in dates from just before the turn of the last century through the mid-1900’s.  Some were ornate marble works of art with precise engraving and designs carved into them. Others were crude blocks of cement with a single name that had been scratched into the near dry concrete.  Some were in German and some in English.

Reading the headstones I could decipher, it was evident many generations had come to rest in this hallowed ground.  What was also evident was the human drama that had been played out upon this land.  Some epitaphs suggested young women had died in childbirth, and there were many children’s graves.  Seemingly taken by fevers and various epidemics, in one section several siblings were clustered together as one by one the dates revealed they had lost their battles.  I was greatly moved by the bittersweet, and devastatingly sad epitaphs.  As a mother myself I could only imagine burying one child after another only weeks and sometimes days apart.  The grief was as palpable as if the parents themselves surrounded me. Pushing aside the encroaching weeds and tall grass that covered much of the engraving, stone after stone became a math quiz as I deciphered the years between birth and death dates.  The lack of longevity was apparent among those buried there. Only occasionally would I find someone past their sixties.

At the center of the mound, shade from a large tree blanketed the grave sites. Leaning against it, I looked out across the surrounding beauty of this land.  In every direction, rolling hills and aging trees seemed to bare witness to a history I could only imagine.  Moving to the edge of the cemetery, away from the stones and out past the fencing, I stood on the rise and gazed down at one of the ponds in the distance.  I was filled with thoughts of all those that had come before me. Their hopes and dreams of family life, love and accomplishment, as well as their joys and sorrows were not so different than mine.  My mind wandered to the the Native Americans who once occupied and had been driven off this land long ago, the settlers that had followed them, and later the immigrant farmers. First generation Americans born and buried here filled my mind as down through the years I moved closer and closer toward my own time. Gratitude filled me as I became profoundly aware of how blessed I was to call this wonderful place home.  With healthy children, loving family, dear friends and work I was passionate about, I felt rich beyond measure. All hardship and loneliness fell away.  Something inside me knew my life had purpose and that I was aligned with a type of unseen guidance.  In that moment, just as I had given into the loneliness the night before, I gave in to the intuitive wisdom within me.  In an act of absolute surrender I raised my face to the sky, closed my eyes, and with heartfelt sincerity whispered, “If it is your will that I be alone for the rest of my life, I accept that.”  I had turned my will and my life over to a power greater than the small personality self that I, all too often, believed myself to be.

In a sudden sweep of all consuming expansion that I can only describe as timeless suspension, I was shifted into a state of revelation beyond this world.  Freed from my limited physical aspect, I became awareness itself!  It was as if the universe had been stilled.  I was, at once, everything and nothing at all.  I was literally at one with all that had come before me and with all that would ever follow.  I was limitless, unbound and expansive beyond measure.  I was in everything and everything was in me.  Understanding filled me, as absolute truth replaced perception.  In that very instant I knew beyond any doubt that this palpable wholeness was and is who I am…who we all are.  Not separate beings, struggling to survive, but limitless oneness, complete and whole. I was experiencing my own higher minds awareness in magnificent, multi-dimensional expansion. Then, just as swiftly, I was back ‘inside’ my limited, physical state of being.  But the message continued and revelation unfolded as it gently showed me what I have come to know as ‘the extraordinary nature of ordinary life’. Shaken and awestruck, I looked down and discovered that I was unknowingly straddling a crudely etched concrete marker, nearly buried in the ground. It bore a single name….my name!

In disbelief, I stooped to run my fingers slowly across the letters of my last name.  Tears filled my eyes and I knew that a part of me had just died on that spot and was forever buried.  I also knew that I would never be lonely again.  I was forever changed and this change had been birthed by way of such complete surrender it was beyond any decision or mental exercise.  From the moment I released all the pent up sorrow and struggle, and allowed myself to collapse in a heap of tears on my living room floor the night before, to the moment I was moved to turn my tiny will and my limited life over to the will of All-That-Is,  I had unknowingly stepped into a state of complete and total alignment with the rest of me…my higher/expanded self!  My surrender was met with an expansion into the Oneness that it is, as the tiny aspect that I believed myself to be died. My awareness had expanded and I knew I was now living from a completely different perspective.  I no longer needed a partner to be complete.  I was complete.  I was whole.  I was changed.  Everything became more alive for me because I was more alive.    

Two weeks later, the man who was to become my husband walked into my life.  So matched were we, that only thirty-nine days passed from first date to marriage.  He loved my farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, and my story of how I had surrendered the will of my personality so that my higher/expanded aspect could prepare me for someone like him; a mystic, a shaman and a teacher like none I had ever known.  Surrender’s gift is that it introduces us to who we truly are, and then it aligns us with people, places and timelines that are waiting for our expanded awareness.  From there we can move deeper into the expression of all that we truly are.   Phil opened doors in my mind that I didn’t even know were there.  He gave me the freedom and encouragement to walk through every one of them and he delighted in the gifts I found there. I gave him love and appreciation and just enough prodding to encourage and validate the gifts in him he was unable to see.  Skeptics may discount my experience and nay-sayers will give no credence to the notion that my surrender brought Phil into my life.  But I will always believe that our’s was truly a match made in Heaven; surrender’s gift! 

7- Creative Intervention

7- Creative Intervention

Phil provided the foundation for me to dive deeply into the larger questions of life while pursuing my creative side.  Not only did he love being surrounded by the energy of an artist, he truly enjoyed the long philosophical discussions and spiritual questioning I constantly brought to the table.  In our marriage we were truly best friends and I had never known this in my life.  We  also loved working together and were one of those rare couples who preferred to be together all the time.   Frustrated with my blocked creativity, I once told Phil I felt like I needed to waste 100 canvases to just get past the feeling.  His response was to agree, support me in creating a proper studio, and promptly fill it with canvases and whatever else I needed to break free of my limitations.  This was quintessential Phil! However, neither of us could have known the stage he was setting for the mystical experience that would birth my journey into what I have come to call Creative Introspection.

In the early days of my new marriage I continued my introspective work, dredging up those issues I felt were limiting my life.  It was hard work and it estranged me from my extended family as I delved into childhood issues that threatened those unwilling to explore the past through a functional lens.  This was taking an emotional toll on me as I came to terms with the family dynamics that had contributed to my feelings of abandonment and shame.  My spiritual mantra of ‘Lead me into all truth.’ was painted across every aspect of my life and it served me well even though it disconnected me for a time from those I loved.  

One night I awoke in the wee hours of the morning.  Pitch darkness surrounded the beautiful old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere that Phil now shared with us.  Having leased the place sometime before meeting Phil, he often teased that he married me for the farm.  We loved the place and its quiet, peaceful surroundings.  As I slipped from bed, making my way through the darkness like a blind woman who knew every nook and cranny of the room, it felt as though something beyond me was moving me along.  I knew I wasn’t wide awake but it seemed like I was being led as I experienced myself from two points of view; subject and observer.  

I entered the new art studio which was just off the bedroom, and began to set up one of the new, larger canvas’ for painting.  Still in this strange, unfamiliar state of being, I watched myself fill a pallet with oils paints and marveled at the colors being chosen.  One part of me was curiously watching what another part of me was doing, but the two aspects were only slightly connected.  I had never experienced anything quite like this before and it intrigued my curious nature so I trusted it.  I was not being ‘taken over’, I was experiencing an expanded state of awareness and being.  

Hours flew like minutes as a painting filled the large canvas I had placed on the easel.  Only the morning sun streaming through the studio window alerted me to how much time had passed.  As the sunlight and the awareness of time shifted me, I was suddenly wide awake, fully integrated and absolutely astounded at what had happened.  Unable to take my eyes off the painting, I backed toward a small sofa in the room as huge waves of deep emotion rippled through me.  I simultaneously laughed and cried from the depth of my being at the realization that I was being healed.  A flood of energy was moving through me as I stared at the painting which had also come through me.  In every way the painting was symbolic of the journey I had taken through life.  As I stared at it, it functioned as a sort of archetypal life review.  It spoke to me from an energetic level validating every emotion and every wound I had ever suffered.  It brought forgiveness to everything I ever held against myself and it freed me in ways impossible to explain.  This energetic exchange went on for about a half an hour as everyone else slept.  It left me refreshed and reborn somehow.  Renewed, I felt a freedom I had never experienced in my thirty-five years of life.  What was this that had transpired in the dark stillness of the night, I wondered.  What spiritual connection was there between creative energy and self-realization?  My head was swimming as Phil emerged from the bedroom.  

I could hardly contain myself as I shared with him what had happened to me.  We made coffee and talked for hours as we sat before the painting in my studio.  He had no more answers than I, but he could see the change.  It was obvious, and he could feel it.  My pursuit of an art career was shifted that day.  Now I was propelled to understand the connection between creativity and spirituality as it applies to self-realization.  My life’s work in psycho-spiritual healing had now merged with my lifelong creative impulses and I began to see everything I had ever created in a new light.  Songs that had simply come through me, volumes of poetry that had written themselves and gotten me through some of the most difficult times of my life were suddenly understood in light of this energetic experience.  

Using creative energy to spiritually understand ourselves and heal was now my focus.  Over time I was guided to the realization that creativity can serve as a healing conduit because we are creative energy incarnate!  Therefore, when we direct our focus to the larger questions in life, (Who am I, Where did I come from, and what am I doing here?), opening a creative avenue is like opening a portal through which our answers can flow to us…from us; our higher self!  From this day forward my art and my awakening were inextricably tied.  The answers that flow through the end of my paintbrush and pen have profoundly moved, inspired and awakened me.  While I have won awards and had opportunities to pursue a traditional career in the arts, those arenas never captured my passion.  Spiritual awakening and enlightenment was always at the forefront for me.  That it merged into my unwavering creative indulgences has been a gift beyond measure.  But that is what life gives you when you give yourself to life rather than the distractions of life; gifts beyond measure.

Some refer to creative experiences like these as channeling.  I myself once accepted that term for lack of understanding what was really happening.  Today I realize that I was simply tapping into a frequency of my own infinite being which allowed for higher exchanges of information to come through.  There is quite a difference between giving oneself over to ‘another’, as one who channels does, and aligning with one’s own higher aspect.  The first sets up and continues the idea of separation and dependence.  The later is freeing and revelatory as it connects oneself to their infinite nature.  I have experienced again and again how creative energy serves as a wonderful conduit for connecting to one’s higher-self.  When I tie this to my personal quest for ongoing enlightenment it never fails me.

8- Poetic Justice

8- Poetic Justice

Writing has always been a creative outlet for me.  I love the way words can be shaped into short poignant arrows that get straight to the point while carrying an emotional impact.  This naturally attracted me to poetry and song lyrics. Having grown up in a musical family with relatives of some note in the industry, learning to play the guitar and write songs was as natural to me as gardening is to a farm family. Poems and lyrics seemingly flowed through me as if I was merely an extension of the pen in my hand.  Of course, I only wrote when I was moved to do so and this tended to be during times of inner reflection or personal distress.  Writing was a comfort as much as a joy.  Only in retrospect did I come to understand it as a powerful portal for tapping into the higher/expanded awareness that I am!

In my mid-thirties the profound metaphysical experience I wrote about in the story Creative Intervention introduced me to the nature of creative energy itself as a portal for illumination and healing.   Because of this experience I came to understand my previous writings in a new light.  Sprinkled like fairy dust across my life, the transformational energy of the things I had written years before in the form of blank verse, had soothed and comforted me through broken hearts, dashed hopes and shattered dreams.  Inspired words had led me away from devastation and awakened me to insight and revelation.  I can’t emphasize how bewildering it was to look at a finished writing and wonder where the words had come from.  For years these poems simply appeared on pages as if I was taking dictation.  Retrospectively I realized this was no small thing and I began to intentionally use creative energy to understand the deeper meanings of life.  

Eventually I directed all of my creative pursuits to spiritual awakening and personal understanding.  Those around me, seeing my artwork,  always urged me to take it into the world, make a career of art and promote myself.  For a long time I was conflicted about this.  I knew I was an artist because I simply couldn’t avoid the impulses to hone my skills and create.  But I had no real desire to make a career in the arts.  The larger complexities of who we are and what we are doing here never leave me.  I am quite amazed that this doesn’t gnaw at the very fabric of most individuals, but acutely aware that it doesn’t.  How seemingly gifted and bright individuals can get so involved in a world that they don’t even know the origins of beyond myth and story truly amazes me.  Science has a ridiculous protocol that focuses on solving the riddles from within the riddles themselves, and religion is so blinded by it’s agenda based origins that it can’t even see the deities it worships are as conflicted as the worshipers themselves.  What came through my conscious engagement with creative energy were validations and illuminations that moved me closer and closer to the answers I personally sought. Interestingly they also flowed with wisdom to ensure I didn’t put my findings on others.  The poem, Out Of The Woods is a good example of that.

OUT OF THE WOODS
We are not
wandering together
lost in a dark, dense wood.

We are,
each of us,
the dark, dense wood
in which we are lost.

The sooner we stop listening to
those calling from the edge
of their perceived freedom,
the sooner we will discover
our own.

It is an inner path....solitary
but with common perspectives
that fool many into believing
it is a shared journey.

Unfortunately, knowing this doesn't mean
I am out of the woods yet....
but remembering it keeps me from
calling to you from the edges.

I share this little piece to emphasize two things I have come to realize.  First, using symbolism to illustrate my perspective, I hold that there is only one self awakening from a dream or notion of separation, but there are as many journeys as there are individual points of view. In other words, all of the individuals in my human experience, including myself, are in reality, fragments of the one self we all share, each holding different perspectives.  We are not suppose to all think alike because we each bring a different perspective.  Sharing and embracing the differences in our perspectives facilitate an opportunity to heal the one self of all it’s misperceptions.  But this is the really cool part, and the second thing I want to emphasize, when I awaken my personal misperceptions through compassionate non-judgement, I awaken from the dream of separation altogether, regardless if anyone else does or not!  Because the dream of separation doesn’t really exist!  I have come to realize that my enlightenment is not contingent upon anyone else awakening.  This is why, as the poem says, there is no benefit in calling to others from the edge of my awakening.  It is of no benefit to me in spending my time focused on the dreamers or the dream!  If I were writing this book, creating inspirational artwork, or teaching classes believing that you needed me to awaken you, I’d be spinning my wheels.  Anything I do inside the dream of separation because I believe it is my calling to heal the dreamers, is the dreams trick to keep me spinning in the belief of separation.  If instead I write and teach as part of my own awakening process, my focus is on awakening, period.  When I awake, the dream disappears and separation no longer exists. 

I do not creatively express myself for recognition or following.  This is why a career in the arts never called to me.  I create because creative energy is a powerful tool for aligning the physical and non-physical aspects of my being for the purpose of personal growth and enlightenment.  I follow the inspiration to write and teach about my experience because writing and teaching are portals for my own awakening.  As I share my inward journey I am as curious to know about yours.  But not to compare and argue which is right or wrong!  Rather to revel in the midst of a fellow traveler healing yet another aspect of the one self we each represent.  In this we get to enjoy the dream together as we joyfully shake ourselves awake from it.  

I have found that aiming my creative energy toward the deeper questions of life and my personal conundrums always leads to resolution. This is the type of creative community I’d love to see emerge, instead of one focused on awards, recognition or getting lost in the distraction of making ‘stuff’.  But that will only emerge the more we tire of the dreams we spin and long for deeper understanding.  I played in those arenas of awards and recognition enough to experience this crossroads and it ushered in a huge turning point in my life.

As an artist encouraged to participate in the art world, I saw how it functioned.  How it keeps the dreamer focused on the dream.  Recognition, awards, accolades and accomplishments are powerful voices calling out to a limited self-perception.  This is true of all systems in the dream world, not just the art world.  At one point there were two voices in me vying for attention.  One wanting to be validated within the dream of this world, and one that longed to awaken me from the dream of this world.  I knew if I chose the art world I would be feeding the voice that lived within the dream; the ego.  I saw how insidiously the art world fed this voice, moving the individual between various degrees of success or failure.  Wrapping individuals up in reaching for more, better, best.  I saw the class system at work as well.  The leaders and the followers.  It was a grand game and one I could see myself doing well in if I focused my energy there.  If I fed the voice seeking recognition and accomplishment it would indeed flourish. I had already experienced a taste of it and it was certainly captivating.  But I didn’t want to be held captive.  I also knew that if I did focus my attention there, eventually I would not be able to hear the voice attempting to awaken me from the ego’s dream; freeing me from captivity.  I had to choose which of the two voices I wanted to follow.  

The choice wasn’t difficult but it was isolating.  The art world was a huge, exciting community for those driven to create.  The spiritual community focused on awakening from the dream of separation is not only minuscule in comparison, but it is also not necessarily aligned with an artistic community.  So, for a while, I did my own thing while occasionally playing with others in the art world.  Then I dropped the art world and purely focused my creativity on my own awakening.  

I believe the art world, like all systems in the dream serve those within it.  Those playing there will only stay as long at it does.  It is like church or anything else for those truly on a spiritual journey.  We only stay as long as we are being fed.  Asking myself what aspect I was nourishing made all the difference in my choice.  Respecting creative energy enough to hone incredible skills, then focusing that energy as a tool for accessing a portal for illumination and healing is the path I have most enjoyed.  It is the one I share because I learn and awaken as I do.  Writing, painting, sculpting and stitching are the lenses I use to peer deep into the mystery.  What I find there are always aspects of illumination waiting to be born.  I have been told repeatedly that when it comes to spiritual matters there are some things we just can’t know.  I have come to realize that is because there is not a ‘we’, there is only an ‘I’.  It has been my experience that when I focus my creative energy toward a spiritual truth I want to know, the answer is always revealed!  I have also come to understand that this is the truth ‘we’ must each discover for ourselves.  

9- Photo-realism

9- Photo-realism

Despite the mystical experiences connected to my spiritual journey, I had never researched or entertained any kind of paranormal explorations.  Not that I avoided them…they just weren’t on my radar.  Despite my own mystical experiences, I was a clinician who primarily believed in addressing the here and now with the here and now. But an antique photo in a tiny shop would expand that understanding, proving that the ‘here and now’ also holds the ‘there and then’.  

Each time I put the antique photograph down and walked away to explore other things in the tiny shop, I felt myself unexplainably drawn back to the woman in the portrait.  In those days there was something about old things that called me.  Along with my sister and girlfriends I often perused dusty old shops and antique malls, and this day was no different.  These places resonated with a kind of timelessness that we each found captivating.  Our homes were furnished and adorned with treasures from such places.  For me it was not so much a shopping adventure as an appreciation for the craftsmanship and beauty that I feel has all but disappeared in our modern, make-shift world of the instant and disposable.  But my attraction to this particular photograph had nothing to do with any of that.

For some time I had been collecting antique cabinet card portraits of women for a Women’s Issues class that I was scheduled to teach.  I had planned to use such images to connect the students of today to the energy of women in earlier times.  However, I never expected to connect so deeply to an image myself.  Having more photos than I needed, despite the attraction, I put the photo down and left the store with my sister and girlfriend.  Halfway down the sidewalk I was compelled to return to the shop and the photograph.  As I picked it up and looked into the depth of the eyes staring back at me, I was completely captivated and clueless as to why.  But to free myself from the pull, I marched straight to the counter, purchased the seven dollar obsession and tucked it into my purse.  That was that…or so I thought.

All day long I felt the urge to take the photo from my purse and look into her eyes.  Time and again I found myself staring into them as if they held some great mystery.  I even asked those with me if they got any vibe off the picture and they both denied any kind of draw what-so-ever.  My sister further commented that she didn’t even find the woman particularly attractive.  This threw me because I found her to be quite captivating.  It wasn’t that she was a beauty, but there was an undeniable strength and presence about her that I found compelling. 

That evening I sat with the photo and wrote whatever came to mind as I imagined the life of the mysterious woman from the turn of the century.  Alone on my sun porch, I fashioned a character study of sorts that was impossible to verify, but verification wasn’t what I was looking for.  I simply wanted to understand what was calling me to this image so I wrote whatever filled my thoughts.  The things that came spoke to a strength of character and her determination to be heard and unrestricted in an age where women had very little freedom and even less voice.  The message was one of self-knowledge with regard to her personality; a quiet type of inner-strength that was unmistakable in her presence.  Not foreboding or arrogant in any way,  I felt she held a kind of self-awareness that was purposeful and directed, without ego yet very centered.  

A few days later I had the image copied and enlarged so I could frame and display it prominently in my home.  I knew this was very unusual behavior but I just went with it.  I intuitively felt the need to ‘be with her’; to have her share my space.  Fortunately I lived with people who didn’t question my quirky ideas or spontaneous notions.

It was the early nineties and we had a nice apartment just outside of Dallas, Texas.  I say this to emphasize that there wasn’t anything in our area of the bible belt that openly addressed the paranormal.  Quite honestly, despite the mystical experiences connected to my spiritual journey, I had never researched or entertained any kind of paranormal explorations.  Not that I avoided them…they just weren’t on my radar.  Despite my own mystical experiences, I was a clinician who primarily believed in addressing the here and now with the here and now.   But the woman in the photo, unbeknownst to me, had come to show me that the here and now held more than I realized.  Being all that existed, the ‘here and now’ holds everything!

A few days after finding the portrait and writing down my thoughts, I randomly turned the TV channel following a local home-school program my son had just finished watching.  An interview type talk-show I had never heard of caught my attention.  This episode featured a detective who used the services of a psychic to assist in finding missing persons.  The detective, a credible sounding, middle-aged man, introduced the psychic and sang her praises with regard to her assistance in his cases.  Curious, I watched the interview through to the end.  When an invitation to call the number on the screen reached out to anyone with a story they would like to share about the paranormal, I found myself jotting the number down. 

Not only did I know nothing about the paranormal world at this time in my life, I had certainly never entertained the idea of calling a television show, much less a psychic!  But there I was, only minutes after the show aired, dialing the number. Hoping to get information for contacting the psychic, my mind was questioning my actions even as I watched them unfold.  I had no idea why I was calling to connect with a woman on a TV show in California simply because I was obsessed with a photograph I’d found in an antique shop in Texas, but there I was.  Imagine my surprise at being told that the psychic actually lived only three hours from my home!  For Texans, that’s a day trip! Without missing a beat, I called, she answered, and the synchronistic breadcrumbs continued to fall into perfect alignment.  As it turned out she was in my area twice a month seeing clients.  Needless to say, I scheduled an appointment.

On the phone I was careful not to give anything away.  I told her that I had seen her on the TV show, and being a counselor, I wondered if she had ever assisted in that field in some way.  She said she had and we agreed to discuss the possibilities when she was in town. Two weeks later I waited outside the office she used when she was in town.  The photo tucked inside my purse, I thought about how I was going to approach the subject.  When it was my turn to see her I found the woman to be just as she was on TV.  Warm, friendly and very approachable.  After introductions and pleasantries the two of us went into the room she used as an office.  We sat across from one another at an empty table, but for a small cassette recorder next to her.   I reached into my purse, took the photograph out and said “I was wondering…”.  Before I could finish my sentence the woman reached to take the photograph from my hand, and upon touching it she gasped slightly, drew it to her and hit the record button and said, “This was you in a past life.”  I sat speechless and suspicious until she began independently stating much of what I had written after finding the photo….and then some.  I’d probably taken it all with a grain of salt had her reading not been so close to the things that I had intuitively written.  However,  I had never even remotely considered a past life connection.  In those days I didn’t even think in such terms.  Since then however, I have had three other very gifted psychics confirm the connection and I have no doubt they were honestly telling me what they saw. 

While it is fun to imagine that I actually connected with a photograph from one of my own past (parallel) lives, that has never been what most astounded me.  Connecting with that photograph in such a profound way marked a trajectory that opened me up to a much larger picture of life.  After that experience and hearing about the possible connection, my studies turned to exploring life as an ongoing continuum rather than a single appearance.  Weather she is indeed one of my own past/parallel lives, I don’t know.  However, those who knew me during that time can certainly attest to how strongly her energy influenced my life, and the doors that opened up for me following our uncommon introduction.  I eventually began to explore past life regression.  I assisted a friend in unraveling and validating her young son’s comments about the lives they shared prior to this one.  And my world view expanded far beyond the limits of my five senses.  

I came to understand that we simultaneously project our eternal essence into many incarnations at once in various dimensions.  These fluctuate along bands of frequency and actually influence one another across what we experience as time and space.  I’ve learned that shifts in awareness which I experience in this life literally impact other lives that the larger self is projecting which I’m not even consciously aware of and vice-versa.  I have also been shown that our life is not one of continuity.  We are not limited to a chronological continuum of experience, but do indeed seamlessly pop in and out of experiences according to our perception and focus.  I have felt sudden shifts and become aware of literally shifting from one timeline to another without needing to experience the gradual steps I could have used to get there.  This awareness continues to expand in me as does my understanding of it.  It is these kind of lessons I enjoy exploring and dissecting.  The world I experience today is far from what meets the eye and this has made life quite an adventure.  One that was prompted by a photograph experienced along two timelines which crossed in the eternal now.

The enlarged framed photograph is still in my home and long ago I painted a portrait of the two of us.  Together we are more than I was alone and I feel a kinship to the energy that reached out to me in such a profound way.  Understanding that we all exist beyond the limitations of time and space is what matters most.  When we live from that awareness we open ourselves to infinite possibilities in the seemingly here and now.  The captivating woman in the photograph ushered that awareness in for me. I am both grateful I followed the intuitive nudges that led me to her and forever changed because of it.